I always encourage my clients to create lives they love, independent of having a romantic relationship. That could include friendships, a satisfying vocation, and loads of hobbies. Sometimes they tell me they “don’t know what to do,” whether it’s how to make friends, find a fulfilling career, or pick a hobby. The answer is a simple one, put best by author Rebecca Campbell: follow what lights you up.

Do What Feels Good

My own journey to land on a career illustrates this advice. When I entered college as an 18 year-old, I had no idea what I wanted to study or “do.” I remember leafing through the thick course catalog, back when it was not online, to see what piqued my interest. The courses that sounded fascinating or fun to me were ones that involved psychology, language, and brain science. So, I sprinkled classes in those fields in my schedule the first couple of years, along with the required courses, and found that I absolutely loved my Introduction to Neuroscience class.

Within a couple of semesters, I was sure that I wanted to major in Neuroscience, not because I wanted to be a “neuroscientist” but because I felt lit up when I studied the brain, biology of behavior, and psychology. In fact, I had NO idea how I would put this degree to use. Not that I wasn’t anxious about how I would turn this degree into a useful career – I was. All I knew was I loved those courses and felt excited to learn more.

You End Up Where You’re Supposed to Be

My path was circuitous, as most people’s are, but I eventually pursued medical school, specialization in Psychiatry, and opening a private practice, now focusing specifically on therapy and coaching for women with relationship issues. Along the way, some of my decisions were motivated by fear, but most of them were aligned with what felt good to me. And now I have a business that I love. 

You don’t have to know where the answer will lead. We often don’t. But, as Ms. Campbell writes, “Follow what lights you up and you’ll light up the world.”

If you need support along the way, whether you’re just getting started being more authentic or are well on your way, call me for a free consultation to see how I can help.